Internet Marketing Secrets Spiel

Wouldn't you like to know all the Internet marketing "secrets" that have made me the man I am today?

I live in a house way too big for my beautiful wife and myself. We eat three square meals a day and can snack anytime we feel like it! We drive our luxurious Cavalier to the beach and swim anytime we want (when I'm not busy making money on the Internet and the beach is not closed because of E. coli levels or ice fishing).

It wasn't always this way. I remember just about fifty-two short years ago when I had no clothes. The doctor had to wrap me up in a blanket. But I applied myself for decades and finally starting making money on the Internet.

Did you hear about the guy that made fifty million dollars in one day on eBay? Peanuts! If you want to make really huge amounts of cash from e-commerce, listen to a guy who's been there.

Why should I tell you (a perfect stranger) all my tricks of the trade? Why don't I just keep the information to myself and make a ton of cash with that knowledge?

These are good questions. This proves that you are thinking and that people on the Internet are not stupid or gullible.

The real reason I am sharing this information is because I like people. In fact, I like you. I consider you one of my closest friends because you are interested in my one passion, Internet marketing. The fact that you have read this far proves your interest. Because you are so smart and motivated, I want to help you.

The fact that I am going to release only 5,000 copies of my Internet marketing "secrets" at $5,000 a pop, for a cool $25,000,000, has absolutely nothing to do with money.

You see, I don't really need the money. We only have three more payments to go on the Cavalier. My fridge is full of Canadian beer. So, money is obviously not my prime motivation.

My charging you $5,000 for my Internet marketing "secrets" is my way of giving back to the community. Really, I'm doing all this to help you because I want to leave behind a legacy. I want people to say (after I'm dead and have no clue about what's going on) what a great philanthropist I was.

By the way, the lawyer at the legal clinic said I should tell you two words: "Earnings Disclaimer".

Even though anyone as smart and motivated and good-looking as you is sure to make billions on the Internet working two or less hours a week, he insisted that I tell you. (Aren't these creative types hilarious?)

He says: "There is no guarantee that you will make any money. Some persons are stupid, lazy and ugly and have zero chance of success."

J. Stephen Pope, President of Pope Consulting Inc., has been helping clients to earn maximum business profits for over twenty-five years.

INTERNET MARKETING RESOURCES:

infoGROUP Regains Compliance with NASDAQ Listing Standards

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Jingwei Announces Participation in Investor Conferences

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Jingwei Announces Purchase of Up To 100,000 Ordinary Shares By George Du President and Chairman

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Mo. AG Nixon warns against political robo calls

Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon pledged Tuesday to go after fellow politicians who make prerecorded phone calls to people's homes without properly disclosing who's behind them.

Consumer Smart - First Edition - September 2nd, 2008

Those pesky automated telemarketing calls could soon be disappearing. A Flash player error has occured, please make sure you have the latest Adobe Flash Player.

DMA Ramps Up Lobbying Spending in Election Year

Put aside the balloons and the baby kissing: The surest sign that it's an election year is an increase in lobbyist spending.

Proposal would bar automated election calls in Jersey

With the Democratic National Convention just ended and the Republican National Convention just getting under way, it's no wonder New Jersey lawmakers are thinking about ways to improve the election process.

Telemarketers a nuisance that can be terminated

Tired of those telemarketers interrupting your lunch, your snooze, or your favourite TV program? If so, you're definitely not alone, which is but one reason why as of Sept.

Cell no-call list at 200,000 and growing

As a deadline for a new cell phone no-call list approaches, more than 200,000 Wisconsin residents have signed up.

Il Ag Sues Car Dealerships Over Mailings

Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan last week sued two Chicago-area auto dealers alleging deceptive direct mail practices, her office announced.

Georgia Do Not Call registration passes five million

" The Georgia Public Service Commission announces that the number of Georgians registered on the Do Not Call List has passed the five million mark.

Is It an ad, or...What is it?

I was interested in a recent article in a leading marketing trade magazine, Advertising Age, about the relatively flat "advertising" spending in the past year - up about 1.7%, led by super-marketer Proctor and ...

Commerce Bank hires direct marketer

Commerce Bank has signed an agreement with Dallas-based Alliance Data's Epsilon business unit to provide the bank direct marketing services.

Talbots Losses Nearly Double

The Talbots Inc. reported a net loss of $25 million for the second quarter, nearly doubling its net loss of $13.3 million in the prior year.